Self-Care Ideas for Guardian Spouses During Long Shifts or Deployments
As the spouse or partner of a first responder or military member, life often comes with a set of unique experiences that differ from those of a civilian family — moments of pride for your loved ones’ service and moments of worry when they’re away or on duty.
In the midst of all the wonderful moments and challenges that come along with this lifestyle, there’s one issue that’s often overlooked when it comes to navigating military or first responder life — how to prioritize self-care when your partner is deployed or on a long shift.
Whether you’re juggling family responsibilities or trying to work and hold down the fort at the same time, one thing is true for all of us — we all need a little me time.
If you’re missing your partner or struggling to work some self-care routines into your daily life, Homefront is here with you, and we’ve prepared this list of great practices to help keep you centered, whether your spouse is working long hours across the street or on a mission across the globe.
Clear Your Headspace
The emotional load of separation can leave your mind buzzing with worries, to-do lists, and unspoken feelings, and stress, no matter how little or how much, has a way of clouding the mind and can make even small tasks feel overwhelming.
Practices like journaling, meditation, or mindful breathing, even in short bursts, can help bring clarity back into your life. Even five minutes of quiet reflection can lighten your load and help bring a fresh perspective to your day.
Some spouses find comfort in guided meditation apps, others prefer sitting quietly with a cup of tea, but however you approach it, giving your mind permission to slow down is one of the kindest gifts you can give yourself.
Find a Hobby That Sparks Joy
When your loved one is away or on a long shift, it can leave you juggling all the daily responsibilities that come with taking care of your home life, and when life revolves around responsibilities, it’s easy to lose touch with the things that bring you joy.
Making a conscious effort to discover or rediscover the little things that brighten up your day and add meaning to your life can make it easier to get through tough moments and leave you feeling less anxious about the challenges that lie in front of you.
Whether it’s reading, painting, gardening, or simply taking some time to color outside the lines with your children, think of your hobbies as anchors — small reminders that you deserve joy and growth, even during challenging moments.
Stay Connected to Your Support System
Many of us feel like our partner is more than just a spouse — they’re a best friend, a confidant, and a lifeline when things get tough, but when our partner is gone, we can end up feeling rudderless and lost.
That’s why it’s essential to remember that you’re not alone, even when your partner is away on a deployment or a long shift. Reach out to family, friends, or even spouse support groups who understand the unique challenges of this life.
Even a quick call with someone can make things feel a little lighter and remind you that you always have people in your corner.
Move Your Body, Lift Your Mood
Physical activity may sometimes feel like the last thing you have energy for, but it’s often the very thing that can restore the energy you feel that you’re missing.
Exercise is a proven stress-reliever that floods your body with endorphins that can combat anxiety and lift your mood. All this doesn’t mean that you need a full-blown workout routine, though.
Some days, it may look like taking a dog for a walk in the park or simply stretching before bed. On others, it might be joining a local fitness class, rolling out a yoga mat in the living room, or just putting on some music and dancing with your kids.
Mood follows action, and movement reminds you that your body is strong and capable, just like your mind.
Practice Mindfulness & Relaxation
In a world that almost always demands constant movement, deliberately slowing down can feel like a Herculean task, but it’s essential for being able to process difficult moments and intense emotions that can come with the prolonged absence of a loved one.
Mindfulness practices can help you to become more present with yourself instead of being caught up in the past or worrying about the future.
Try starting or ending your day with a few deep breaths and pay attention to how your body feels.
Guided relaxation, progressive muscle release, or even listening to calming music can reset your nervous system. These quiet moments may feel small, but they can help build resilience over time and help you meet each day with steadier footing.
Protect Your Energy With Boundaries
As the spouse of a military service member or first responder, you can end up carrying a lot — household management, childcare, career demands, and the emotional weight of missing your loved one.
With everything you have on your plate, it’s easy to feel like you’re stretched thin or exhausted. Boundaries are a way of preserving your strength for what matters most. That means saying “no” to extra volunteer commitments, setting aside specific times when you unplug from social media, or creating a space during your week that’s just for you to rest or relax.
Protecting your time doesn’t mean you’re letting people down — it means you’re investing in your own well-being so you can continue showing up for the important people in your life with love and resilience.
Reach Our for Professional Support
Sometimes, self-care goes beyond what your support network can provide, and feeling like you can’t turn to the people in your life can make you feel isolated or adrift in your own mind.
Counselors, therapists, and support groups tailored for military and first responder spouses can offer strategies, validation, and a safe space to process the unique challenges you face.
Seeking professional support isn’t a sign of weakness — it’s an act of courage and care. If your load feels too heavy, reaching out can lighten the weight and remind you that help is available and you don’t have to figure it out all on your own.
Choose Daily Joy
In the middle of the seriousness of long shifts and deployments, moments of joy can feel just as out of reach as the partner you’re missing, but it’s worth seeking out intentionally.
Think of one small action each day that makes you smile — sipping your favorite coffee, taking time to watch the sunrise, listening to a playlist that lifts your mood, or enjoying a phone call with a loved one.
These moments may seem minor, but they add up. Over time, these tiny moments of intentional joy can weave a sense of gratitude and happiness into your life, helping you not only endure difficult seasons but also find the beauty within them.
You Are Never Alone
Being the spouse of a Guardian means carrying a unique kind of strength, one that often goes unseen but is deeply felt. By choosing to employ strategies that help you to care for yourself, you’re not only nurturing your own well-being, you’re creating the ability to hold space for those around you and honoring the bond you share with your loved one.
Remember, you’re never walking this road alone — countless spouses stand beside you in spirit, facing the same long nights and early mornings, and the Guardian Homefront family is always here to support you.
Together, we remind each other — resilience grows stronger when it’s shared.
At Guardian Homefront, we stand beside the families, partners, and loved ones of those who serve. We honor your role, your sacrifices, and your strength—and we’re here to support you every step of the way.
About Guardian Revival
Guardian Revival is a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization that improves the mental health & well-being of military, veterans, and first responders — our guardians — and their families, at no cost to them.
Our Programs
Another Summit | Outdoor adventures — walking, hiking, backpacking, paddling, and fly fishing
Boots & Paws | Providing dogs for the therapeutic benefits of animal companionship
Encore | Opportunities to learn, write, play, record, and share music
Homefront | Events, support & resources for guardian families
Peer Services | Individual & group peer support for guardians by guardians
RISE | Strength & resilience through fitness & wellness
Upcoming Events
All of our events are free for guardians (active & retired): Active Military ᐧ Veterans ᐧ Reserves ᐧ National Guard ᐧ Law Enforcement ᐧ Fire & Rescue ᐧ Emergency Medical Services ᐧ Dispatchers ᐧ Corrections ᐧ Federal Agents
From gatherings and hikes to music and mindfulness, there’s a place for everyone in our community — in-person, online, and outdoors. We hope you’ll join us soon:
